I (Amy) arrived backstage to speak at First Dallas this Spring for a girls retreat. I walked into the green room (stocked to feed 50+ people) and met the lovely Bethany Barr Phillips- who would be leading worship that day.
We laughed, hung out, realized we are both Mississippi girls, and ate a Costco sized bag of Stacey’s pita chips... I asked how/when she started leading worship. And, she shared her story. It might have been the first time I’ve been on the edge of my seat, crying, clapping and spellbound in a green room.
Bethany is God-honoring, sincere, confident in her calling and has walked with Jesus through her life gracefully. At The Perch, we want to cheer on other godly women, so we're am thrilled to share Bethany with you today! Check it out!
There’s always been this completely unrealistic notion that if you’re in ministry, you have your life together (cue: chuckling small group leaders). One of the most difficult things about said notion is that as one in leadership, you don’t always, if ever, have anyone to talk to about the things that you struggle with. I’m not talking about regretting that extra piece of pizza when you should’ve stopped at three; I’m talking, struggling through doubt, being disconnected, fear… see where I’m going?
I’ve been a worship leader for some time now, and for a better portion of this time, there was always something in the back of my mind that would creep in on me as I was leading. It was the question of: “What if…” What if … they don’t like me… they don’t like this song… they like her better than me… You get the picture. There are moments when my heart, and my head for that matter, place themselves on a swivel, and I begin to allow doubt of what I’m doing have a place in my life.
There was a moment in my ministry where the ‘what if…’ became a reality as I was singled out in a meeting before I walked on the platform one evening. A hosting pastor gave the room a very vocal opinion of his likes and dislikes. What I gleaned from his two-minute dissertation as he looked directly at me was that I fell in his ‘dislike’ column. In that moment, my reservations became my reality.
The four-hour ride seemed like forever. My team was very supportive as they saw me singled out, but in my heart, I’d failed. I’d failed those that had recommended me, I’d failed a regarded ministry, and somehow in my mind, that meant that I’d failed God… because I couldn’t be all things to all people. Do you see the toxicity of what was happening? Without even realizing it, my fear of not pleasing man was bleeding into my relationship with God, thus letting my heart feel He could only love me conditionally – friends, we know that is so NOT the case when it comes to God (Eph 2:8).
I began to write. I sat down at my computer on a fall afternoon and began to write what I knew to be true of God, and what I knew He thought of me. That’s when I began to see that fear had become the root by which all of these negative things were thriving. It was time to face them.
Facing Your Fears: A 40 Day Devotional was birthed out of my own fear - my fear of failure. It’s a journey through facing some key areas in which we allow fear to set up shop in our lives. It’s not a ‘feel good’ or a ‘self-help’, but it’s a time to focus and take a real, raw look at your relationship with God and who He is in your own life.
I’m grateful for the journey – it shaped my heart. A heart that longs to walk in freedom, because it is for that freedom that Jesus set us free (Gal 5:1). My prayer is that it does the same for you, not by my words but by the power of the Word of God. It IS our key to facing our fears. - BBP
We want to giveaway a copy of her new 40 day devotional, Facing Your Fears. Click the button below to enter! Our giveaway is open for one week. Enter now!
You can click here to read a little more about Bethany and get to know her! You should totally book her for your next event!